Is bisexuality a myth?
I have decided to start a blog where I can express myself about different topics that may or may not be relevant to my life. The ‘B’ of LGBTQ+ will be the topic I will write about in this first entry. This ‘B’ stands for bisexual. What is a bisexual person? A bisexual person is an individual who may develop sexual desires towards both sexes; male and female.
Bisexuality is a topic that seems to be mythical for people, for society, and even for the LGBTQ+ community. People are always looking for recognition as Butler, amazing writer, mentioned in her books. By this, I mean that people want to be recognised and seemed in certain ways. Therefore, it is common to be asked the, at least for me, outrageous question .. Are you straight or gay? Or do you have a boyfriend? (when the person who is being asked is a female), or do you have a girlfriend? (When the person who is being asked is a male). They restrict your live into one way or another, there is no a possibility of a third, or fourth way of living. These type of questions make the option of being bisexual, almost, invisible and impossible. People tend to live following society’s desires without realising that society is excluding individuals with its different rules, boundaries and patterns of behaviour. Following this, it does not come as a surprise that people doubt about one being bisexual. My personal experience has shown me that people do not believe in the idea of people desiring both sexes. I l knew that coming out as a bisexual male was not going to be easy. When I told my friends that I was bisexual, I thought they were going to think that I could date a male or a female throughout my life. The first reaction was “Oh, okay. That’s fine” Well, thank you for letting me know that is okay to be who I am, I thought. But after this beautiful sentence most of them asked me are you sure? Or is that possible? After this type of questions I always laugh. Cisgender people, or most of them, have concluded that people can be either straight or gay. The next question is always .. How can you like a penis if you like a vagina? Excuse me? According to this type of thinking, someone who likes eating a banana will not like eating a peach, or someone who likes to drink fizzy water will not like to drink still water. It is as simply as that, we all have different taste, we all like different things, so why does it have to be different when it comes to sexual desire? Did anyone establish a norm that does not allow an individual to feel attraction towards both sexes?
The invisibility of bisexuality gets clearer for me day after day. I have been in a relationship with another male for over three years now. Most people see me as a gay man, but how can they same as a gay man when I am not, and I have told them so? People tend to think that young gay male tell people that they are bisexual because they are too scared to say they are gay. This, in fact, is true. This being true does not mean that there are not bisexual people. In my personal experience, why would I say that I am bisexual if I am not? As I said before, people say they are bisexual because they are scared to say that they are just gay. Why would I be scared if people already know that I have a boyfriend? It would be easier for me to say that I am gay, but I am not. I have come across a whole lot of reactions. I was also told that if I have a boyfriend I am gay. Well, that is not true. Why do people think they know who you like, who you are? Let me love whoever I want.
A large number of straight people see bisexuality as a myth. Personally, the problem for me comes when people within the community think so too. About a year ago a well know UK gay entertainer was kicked out of a tv show because of his opinions about bisexual people. For this individual bisexual people are gay liars who do not want to accept who they are. I do not want to go into other things he said, because they disgust me. How can you say such a thing? Why would you? I am sure that this individual has experience social exclusion because of his sexual orientation. Nevertheless, he goes to a tv show to judge and run his mouth about a matter that he has not idea about. Unfortunately, this is not a one-off case, people in the community tend to laugh and roll their eyes when you tell them you are bisexual. It is sad really.
Is bisexuality a myth? It is clear that bisexuality is another sexual orientation, wether you like it or not. I would suggest people to go and educate their selves before they speak or write things that are just vile. There is not a huge debate around this topic. You love who you love. It is not about being greedy. It is about who you are. It is about the way you were born. Bisexuality is not a myth. Society tries to make it a myth, but it is not. Bisexuality, is a thing. Bisexuality exist. Stop being judgmental. Stop being hateful. Love and let others love. Help people from your own community. The may have been through similar things. Meet people, learn about their lives. Understand that not everyone are the same. There is more than black and white. Gay or straight. There is also blue, pink and Purple.
Be Kind ..